Ironically, honest caring people forget their successes and good deeds sooner than their failures, mistakes and sins. Our conscience says not a positive word about our good works but constantly accuses us of our bad ones .... for life .... if we are not "past feeling" guilt. Those who have stepped through that dark door and have become sociopaths, without empathy or guilt, are now habitually wicked and cannot be repaired or redeemed ... if they have no conscience. That only happens when a person has so abused their conscience that it has ceased to function and is seared over as with a hot iron. Without a guilty conscience a sinner cannot repent and therefore cannot be saved. "Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron." 1 Tim.4:2. When that happens, their conscience is numb, scarred over and past feeling. "Who being past feeling have given themselves over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness." Eph.4:19. In such a state, they have willfully given themselves over to do evil. "Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil."Ecc.8:11. Many such people have undoubtedly committed irreversible blasphemy of the Holy Spirit's convicting of their conscience to accept Christ. But anyone who still feels guilt and shame and wants God's forgiveness has not reached that point and can still receive forgiveness if they simply, sincerely ask it of Him."....him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out." John 6:37.
So be thankful you still have a sensitive conscience. It was given us by our Creator as a passage through which His Holy Spirit moves, convicts and communicates with our spirits and guides our thoughts, words and actions in God's direction.
What happened in the past never entirely goes away ... unless it is sin ... repented of to God, forgiven and His forgiveness accepted by us. Even if we don't forgive ourselves, His forgiveness still holds and we waste the energy of our regrets, fears and unforgiveness of ourselves. God has made us these promises of His eternal forgiveness...."If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 Jn. 1:9.
"And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more." Heb. 10:17.
"As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us." Psm.103:12. How far is that? East going one way and west the opposite way into infinity and ne're the twain shall meet. That's a long way. They may pass in the night, but still are opposites. RB
